That was the worst Facebook status I’ve ever seen.

The Staypuft Marshmallow Man

The Staypuft Marshmallow Man

Hello folks. I’m here to comment on a facebook status that I read today. I’m not going to name the person who posted it. It’s not someone I’m going to just go and hang out with I don’t think, nor do I ever think they will see this article. If they were to see it, I would hope that they would come away from it feeling educated and enlightened.

The status in question, nearly an hour after I’ve seen it, has 11 likes and no comments. I had briefly considered defriending the person who made it, but I realized that since I am not friends with any of these likers, I cannot defriend those people. I want to, but I simply can’t unless I sent friend requests to all of them, then suddenly and dramatically defriend all of them. So I remain friends with the person who made this status, and I’m quietly thinking of a way that I can inflict some kind of harm on the 11 likers.

Continue reading

Updates!

Good news, everyone!

I updated the header image finally.  Love it or hate it, it’s still bright pink, and that’s how it will always be.  I also made a Facebook page (go Like it!!!) because people seem to need that for whatever reason.  Anyway, there are some great new additions coming up today and in the next week, so keep watching!

Also: Zelda’s updated review of the Kindle Fire/iPad situation and new book reviews –  PLUS a new kittenshark!!!

Katie Gray from my 5th Grade Class was and Probably Still Is a Butt Faced Bitch

Recently, I have been waking up from a recurring nightmare. It harkens back to the dark days of my childhood. Specifically it’s this haunting image of the fifth grade. The fifth grade was already a particularly dark time for me. My teacher was an elderly obese bitch named Mrs. West who wore an eyepatch. I’m not kidding. It almost ruined pirates for me a little. One time she made me clean up another student’s blood off a chair because of a blind accusation from a shit-head in my class named Ryan. I don’t remember his last name but if I did I would probably link to his loser facebook profile right here and you could see what kind of an idiot he is.

A Nightmare

Anyway, this is about one particular traumatic event. What is waking me up with cold sweats and the the sensation that my entire decision making process has been sullied comes down to math class. You know, 5th grade math where you learn the same shit you learned in 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grade again? That math class. One day in that class everything began south. I will forever bear the burden of learning what it means to be confused and unconfident that day.

Continue reading