Nikki Martin is Amazing and Should Have a Show on Food Network

So, tonight we learned that Nikki Martin was eliminated from Food Network Star.  If you

Nikki Martin

know anything about kittensharks, then you know that we are obsessed with Food Network Star.  (If you don’t know anything about kittensharks, then you are a jackass.)  Kittensharks are traditionally #TeamAlton because, as you know, we are huge fans of Alton Brown.  However, through a series of tweets with Nikki Martin, we learned that she is a classy and interesting lady who has some stuff to teach us about grilling food.

Tonight, I was extremely disappointed to see her removed from the running in place of Michelle on Bobby Flay’s team.  I think it was a huge mistake in the producers’ decision.  Nikki might not be everyone’s idea of “classic” food show host, but she is attractive, interesting and informative.  Which is what one ought to want in an informative food show.  I don’t eat meat, but I would be interested in some of her tips on grilling vegetables.  I don’t know what any of the other contestants would have to say on this subject because they don’t seem to care.  I think Nikki does.

I’m going to launch a campaign to get a Nikki Martin Show on Food Network.  I think you should join me.  Yeah?  Do it.

If you are interested in joining, email zelda@kittensharks.org or start tweeting @FoodNetwork that you want a #NikkiMartinShow immediately!  Nikki is a classy lady and has a lot to teach us.  As a Food Network viewer, that’s what I’m looking for.  What about you?

I saw her face, now I’m a Wholiever.

Hi everybody. It’s me again: the world’s biggest Dr. Who fan. I know you haven’t heard from me in over two weeks and some of you have been starting to get worried. Fear not, for I am alive. I have been traveling through time and space just like Dr. Who in his famed DeLorean (and horse-drawn sleigh in the third season). Well, I wish. In fact, I have been in hiding. You see, I have caught a LOT of flack for my previous article about Wholievership. There have been several comments so obscene I absolutely had to delete them, death threats against me and my family, and one guy nailed a copy of Martin Luther’s 95 Theses to my front door, only he changed all of them to be relevant to Dr. Who. Actually that last guy seems pretty cool. I might invite him to join the Secret Order of Wholievers.

This the emblem of the Secret Order of Wholievers. If you have to ask why you’ll never be allowed to join our club.

Why are so many people outraged? There are a few reasons that an undeveloped mind might find anger at my previous article. I’m here to enlighten and cast away the fury. Learn from my wisdom so that someday you might even become a Junior Member of my secret society.

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Do you Wholieve in life after love?

As everybody already knows, I am pretty much the world’s biggest Wholiever. What is a Wholiever, you ask? It is a Whovian who is so Whovian that it has practically replaced religion in their life. If you have never met a Wholiever that is because you’re probably poorly educated and were raised by assholes. It’s not your fault, it’s your parents’ fault.

Today I wanted to take some time to talk about Dr. Who: a show so good it can only be

Hot Shit.

compared to itself. Have you watched it? It’s basically your run of the mill medical drama, but it’s super captivating and the characters are astoundingly realistic. This is why the show is called Dr. Who. It’s about this doctor that performs these amazing and risky surgeries every day, but in the end he is just a normal guy like you and me. That’s what makes it so wonderful to see each week when the new episodes debut on the Sci-Fi Channel right after that week’s new episode of Lexx. First I get a boner from watching that sexy space porn, then I get my heart pumping with patriotism watching the greatest American produced television show of all time: the unparalleled Doctor Who.

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FYI, MASSACHUSETTS!!! Potbelly’s in Boston!

A girl and her Potbelly Sandwich.

It’s finally happening!  Potbelly Sandwich Shop is opening a location in Boston.  There is technically already an open location, but it is in the airport, so it would be a pretty expensive lunch if one wasn’t already planning on taking an air trip that day.  (That doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it.)

The opening date isn’t official yet, but I will keep you updated and eventually add a countdown clock .  In the mean time, check out the news page: Boston Opening.

 

Fake Steak Tip Tacos

Fake Steak Tip Tacos

Every Taco Tuesday needs a special taco, and I enjoy finding new and exciting ways to celebrate said fun day.  As a vegetarian, people tend to think the options are fairly limited, but they have come a long way from the once glorious, single delight of Taco Bell releasing the potato soft taco (and gotten better for you, I might add).

My favorite thing about this recipe is switching out sour cream for fat free plain Greek Yogurt.  The texture is velvety and the  nutrition is great, not to mention the (I think) better taste.

Nick is a huge fan of real meat, but even he really enjoyed these!

Half-assed recipe follows:

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Ashley’s Treat: White Chocolate Raspberry Swirl Cheesecakes

Ashley's mini cheesecake.

Once in a while, the “NEED TO BAKE NEED TO BAKE NEED TO BAKE” urge takes me over.  Usually I’ll just make some cupcakes or something, but sometimes I want to try something new and different, especially if it will please a friend.  Fellow kittenshark Ashley loves cheesecake, and it just so happened that when I had this urge to bake something, it was almost Nick’s birthday; he also loves cheesecake.  Settled.  Gotta make cheesecake.

Since I’d never made a cheesecake before, I scoured the internet for the right recipe for me, and because I knew I wanted to make mini versions, I ended up using one I found at a wonderful site and only slightly adapting it.  Since she said it best, please check out Annie’s Eats for the full recipe.

A cupcake. (Phone pic.)

The adaptations I made were using Chocolate graham cracker crumbs instead of chocolate cookie crumbs (I don’t like Oreos), Natural Balance Vegan Buttery Spread instead of butter, Egg Beaters Egg Whites instead of Eggs and no salt.  It was still pretty tasty!  In fact, Ashely said, “This might be the best dessert I’ve ever had.”

I baked 4 mini cheesecakes in glass ramekin and made cupcakes out of the rest.  With future cheesecakes, I hope to have a more attractive looking final product, but all the different crap about how to know when your cheesecake is done had me pretty spooked.

If you want the recipe for the ganache seen in the first picture, click here.

Fake Chicken Sliders on Whole Wheat Smithwick’s Beer Rolls & Baked Hand Cut Sweet Potato Fries!

Fake Chicken Sliders on Whole Wheat Smithwick's Rolls & Hand Cut Sweet Potato Fries

This is by far my favorite Half-assed Recipe yet.  I love sandwiches and I love tiny versions of things, so this is a no brainer.  Obviously, you can substitute real meat for the vegetarian kind I use, but if you haven’t tried these delicious fake chicken nuggets yet, I strongly encourage you to give them a shot.  They are soy free and tasty!

This post will include three different recipes: one for the bread, one for the fries and one for an aioli.  Half-assed recipe follows:

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Product Review- Sally Hansen Salon Effects Real Nail Polish Strips

Not since I posted about my decision to purchase a Kindle Fire has kittensharks really talked about products or anything outside of food, sharks, fantasy, the Illuminati, etc., and I feel like this is an important facet to group blogging that we lack.  I wasn’t sure what I wanted to review for my first product test until I saw a commercial for the Sally Hansen nail strips again.  These things have been in the back of my head since they first showed up; I enjoy nail color, but am very lazy.  Could they possibly be as easy and perfect for someone like me as Sally Hansen says?  These are the questions I decided to answer for myself and for you, the wonderful readers of kittensharks.  Here goes!

What the Product is For/What the Product Claims to Do

This product is to apply salon quality nail color or pattern with no mess or drying time that claims to last up to 10 days.

Review follows:

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Suze’s PB & Choco Sammys (Gluten Free!)

Suze's PB & Choco Sammys

Susan, one of my best friends and a fellow kittenshark, can’t have gluten.  This is sad because most of the delicious foods seem to be riddled with it.  Everyone take a minute to reflect on how it sucks to be allergic to gluten.  Okay, thanks.  Anyway, since she recently sent me a care package and I have one to send her, aaaaand her birthday is coming up, I wanted to create a special treat that is delicious, easy to make and safe for the Suze to eat.

Nick and I set out to bake them tonight, and we were delighted with the final product.  These cookies are not only Suze-safe, but also almost criminally easy to make and very tasty.

Half-assed recipe follows:

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