Live Tweeting Matlock

Today I live tweeted episode “The Godfather,” 1993.  This episode of the television classic, Matlock, is a tale of two rival families joined in wedlock and a lot of stupid sports competitions that someone doesn’t handle very well as well as an exciting look at another married couple’s problems.


1:06 PM Oh, Ben! You didn’t realize Leanne was inviting ALL THOSE PEOPLE over for a wedding reception! She got you! #Matlock

1:07 PM “Keep it up, Fred. You’re gonna look all the more stupid when I win the Volunteer Fire Fighter’s Competition this year!” #Matlock

1:10 PM “You listen to me and you listen good.  You don’t take the whole platter.  You take ONE cookie.  One.  Got it?” #Matlock

1:12 PM Did #Matlock just accuse his daughter of beastiality a little bit?

1:13 PM Bachelor party!  That’s quite a lot of nudity for 1993 on NBC. #Matlock

1:18 PM Why is Ben’s neighbor wearing a Pittsburgh Pirates hat in Atlanta? #Matlock

1:20 PM “I did not kill Brad; I swear.” And now we’ll spend about 30 minutes finding out who did.  Ben always knows by the top of the hour. #Matlock

1:22 PM Girl with an upset stomach + random mention of OBGYN = Mark my words, an unwanted pregnancy! #Matlock

1:22 PM CALLED IT! #Matlock

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To All Food/Cooking Program Hosts:

First, I want to tell you that almost no one enjoys food programming more than I do.  In fact, I spend a lot of time watching almost anything on Food Network or Cooking Channel.  (Side note: props to Food Network for remembering its roots and making another channel specifically to actually show more cooking shows and not reality television; that is very Discovery Channel-creating-TLC-circa-late-90’s of you.)  It is partly because I spend so much time watching these shows that I feel comfortable making the following complaints; I certainly have the epistemic privilege to do so, having spent entire hungover Saturdays every week often enough to gather evidence of your hosts’, well, let’s call them annoyances.

I don’t care about the host’s personal life.  If I did, I would google them and look at their wikipedia page like any other person who has been alive for five seconds.  When a show is based almost completely around whatever he or she is pretending to do that day with whomever they mention (I’m looking at you, Giada), it makes me want to cook whatever he or she is making just so I can throw it at the TV.  Or start tweeting details about my personal life at them until they realize how annoying it is and block me.  (Do not test me on this, Food Network personalities.  I’ve done it already, and it worked.  Ask Amanda Freitag.) Continue reading